Ruiru Rehabilitation Centre

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As an author of books in the pet loss genre, I often receive e-mail where I am asked “Do you think that I did the right thing by putting my best friend down?” The question is always qualified by a very heart-wrenching and moving story about the rapidly declining health of the family pet, which resulted in making the “big decision”.

Almost without exception, the inquirer expresses a deep sense of guilt from having made that choice, which, in all probability, is the real reason for their writing to me…to help them with that guilt. Essentially, I am being asked to approve of a decision made during a period of great duress without much background information. It is a task that I do not relish, but one that I cannot and will not avoid.

Making such a decision is one of the most difficult things a person who loves animals will ever have to do. Our pets are perpetual children to us: children, because they depend upon us for all of their needs (food, shelter, medical attention, etc.); and, perpetual, because they never grow up and leave the nest.

They do not marry. They do not go to college. They remain utterly dependent upon us throughout their lives. When our children leave home, we still love them and provide help when they ask for it, but generally they have their own lives to live and we no longer make decisions for them. But for our furry children, the decision-making responsibilities permanently fall to us.

Is it any wonder then, that when we have had to prematurely hasten their passing, we blame ourselves or feel guilt? After all, they depended upon us and somehow we let them down. Somehow we should have had control and been able to prevent their illness or injury.

The truth is, however, we have no control over such things. We cannot know when illness will strike. We cannot know when an animal will dig a hole under the fence and run into the street. We can take all the necessary safety precautions, feed them the best food, get them regular check-ups, but we cannot foresee the future. Accordingly, from a reality standpoint, there is no basis for feeling guilty when unexpected circumstances force us to decide to help our best friend pass on.

From a perceptional standpoint, when someone is so broken that they feel compelled to seek my help, pouring out their most intimate emotions to a complete stranger, this suggests to me that they could never have failed their best friend by making a poor decision. It just is not in them to have not been vigilant and caring. It is my perception that they could have done nothing to deserve the guilt they torture themselves with.

It has been my experience rather, that such people possess great love and devotion for their pets. Invariably, they will have done anything within their power to extend the life of their best friend if it were at all possible to do so.

Indeed, I can attest that some who have contacted me have spent literally tens of thousands of dollars on surgery and other healthcare efforts, traveled great distances to meet with specialists, or sat up night after night all night long trying to provide comfort and care. There can be little doubt but that people who love their pets, people like you and me, will exhaust every possibility to help their animals.

Sadly, despite all of our selfless effort and expense, success sometimes is not realized and our best friend continues to deteriorate, often in great pain. We are forced to make that dreaded big decision, whether or not to let our best friend go.

It is after that decision has been made and our best friend is gone, that guilt comes, accompanied by its infamous associate, doubt. Together they rob us of our confidence and turn our precious memories into a source of pain. We beat ourselves up in our hearts and minds and are plagued by the haunting questions:

• “Did I do the right thing”?

• “Should I have waited longer”?

• “Why am I feeling all this guilt”?

• “What if I had done this or that”?

Again, these questions are hard to answer. If you were to ask for my help in validating your decision, I could not presumptuously determine that putting your best friend down was the right thing to do. Neither could I suggest that it was the wrong thing to do. I just cannot know.

Similarly, I do not know if the decision was made too soon, too late or whether it should have been made at all. At best, my thoughts in those areas would be nothing more than a subjective guess, based upon very limited information and my own values and level of sensitivity. It would be unfair to hold everyone to my own personal standard and to respond to them based upon that alone.

Instead, I would encourage you to remember how things were at that moment in time when you bore the responsibility of making that big decision for your family pet. Only you can know if it was the right and timely thing to do. My advice to you is to simply “trust the moment”. By that I mean, that you should not second-guess now, the decision that you made then. Second-guessing will only lead to a feeling of insecurity, which will eventually manifest itself as guilt.

It is imperative to trust that at that moment, when you were forced to make that undesirable, big decision, you did so from a position of love. You didn’t want to do it. It horrified you to have to decide. Nevertheless, you stepped up and assumed your responsibility. You selflessly decided, at that moment, that your best friend was suffering, that there was nothing you or anyone else could do about it, except make that decision.

Now, long after the fact, divorced from the emotion and pressure of that moment, you are allowing yourself to dissect every thought and circumstance. Now, with the luxury of time, you are starting to re-think the facts and question yourself, playing the “what if” game.

Today, it isn’t as clear as it was then. You really don’t know if you did the right thing. Take heart, it is human nature to doubt. We are imperfect and fickle creatures. But that does not make it right to pull a load of guilt upon ourselves, and that does not change the reality of the moment when you had to make that big decision.

Don’t let your feelings of grief give birth to guilt. Remember the moment. Remember that at that moment you wanted nothing more than to help the one you so dearly loved. You would have done anything, paid any amount, performed any feat to prolong their life, but it was just not to be

The doctor’s prognosis was grim. There would be much suffering and pain. The recommendation was to bring them relief, to help them pass on. Under extreme duress and emotional strain, through tears of love, you weighed all the facts, reached down deep inside yourself, put aside your own selfish desire to have your pet hang on, and did what you thought best for them at that moment.

At that moment, your love made the selfless decision that rationale and logic now question. There was no selfishness then, but rather a somber consideration of the facts, and a decision to do something that you really did not want to do. But you did it, because someone needed for you to be strong for them.

You put self aside and found strength you did not know that you had. Don’t let go of that moment. Hold on to it. Trust it. Trust that you were right and that you did what was needed. Trust that your love ruled over your selfishness and know that where your love prevailed, there is no room for guilt or doubt. Grief and sadness are important validations of your love, but do not cheat that process with doubt and guilt. It has no place.

“From ghoulies and ghosties
And long-leggedy beasties
And things that go bump in the night,
Good Lord, deliver us!”

This is an old Scottish saying on one of the events that children and teenagers look forward to year after year. Halloween. And this is the time when people who would love to be what they really wanted to be can dress up the part. You can most certainly see various versions of Frankenstein monsters, Darth Vaders, faeries, princesses, goblins, ghosts, and other creatures.

However, it is also very important to note that during such an event, many people also do get involved in car crashes, collisions, or accidents. After all, you should keep in mind that when Halloween night is on, many children who are going trick or treating usually choose to wear black and scare other kids. And the Michigan American Automobile Association, or AAA, does remind parents and guardians to be extra cautious about where their children are going. With that, Jack Peet, the manager of Community Safety Services for Michigan’s AAA, says, “The risk of becoming a pedestrian fatality increases four times during Halloween.”

As a motorist, it is important that one should go through neighborhoods much slowly than usual. Being on the alert for small children in black darting about shadows would also do you much good. Sure enough, if you would take much notice, these children would be running from house to house if they can all because they are excited about the thought that they are getting more candy. However, what they do not seem to remember is the fact that by crossing the street, they could get hit by oncoming vehicles.

Now if you are a parent or a guardian of a little kid screaming to go trick or treating with his or her friends, the best way would be for you to actually go with your little one as he takes in the Halloween fun. That way, you yourself could check about his safety and make sure that he does not get struck by Dodge auto parts on careening down the street on its wheels.

In the first part of the article we covered the background to ancient Greek society and sex.

Here we will look at more on how sex was viewed and sexual positions. The Greeks (as many ancient societies were) were extremely liberated and sex in ancient times was certainly very different to our view of sex today.

For the man in ancient Greece, considering he was not a slave, but either a citizen, or free man, his choice for sex would be with his wife (doubtful, as you will see below), household slaves, professional prostitutes, or young boys.

The ancient Greek man, as today, was basically bi-sexual, with a preference for pederasty.

The Role of the Wife

The wives of Greek men were to do three things exclusively. They were to bear legitimate children, care for the home, and to cook.

They were not allowed out of the home unattended, ever.

According to our knowledge of the past, the Greek men would marry them at about 14 to 15 years old, and sex with them was often performed in rear entry standing positions.

Sex in bed was not unknown, but the beds were not as they are today, and often an older man on top of a young girl, in a bed, would be inconvenient. The young wives were totally inexperienced, and were mostly ravished by their older and often sated husbands.

One ancient Greek writer mentions a man sodomizing his wife, and being severely punished after being discovered.

Sex in Greek Everyday Life

The homes of the ancient Greeks were full of people.

There were the wives and children, slaves, the slave children and some free man servants.

The Greek man could do as he wished with his slaves.

Pottery always portrays the wives of Greek men fully clothed, even when having sex, while the slaves are always naked.

The preferred sexual positions were standing rear entry, sodomized read entry, and sex on chairs or couches.

Although fellatio was a theoretical taboo, it was widely performed. Slaves and prostitutes were often beaten first to get them to be more compliant.

The third option for the Greek men were hetaera (or educated and groomed prostitutes). They joined the men at their symposia, entertained, argued, and then slept with the highest paying customer.

Their education included also the delights of the bedroom, and it appears that the positions used were varied and inventive. Doggy-style variant positions were featured, and some face to face sexual positions on chairs. Sodomy was an included option in the sexual repertoire.

Another variant of the prostitute was the temple prostitutes, and it seems all their positions were variants of standing positions, both front and rear entry.

The last variant of the prostitute was the chamaitype (or dirt doers).

These were the street girls, and there were neither rooms nor furniture for the couple. Whatever was done was in the street (in the dirt). Conventional doggy-style seems to be their specialty, both vaginal and sodomized. Fallatio was also their specialty, and we know that beating them up before was not required.

Bi Sexuality

The most important variant for the Greek man was the young boy, always less than 17. The older man was the erostes (lover) and young boy the eromenoi, or loved one.

The older man would be responsible for the young man’s education, and financial support.

They would appear in public, especailly at the gymnaisium (literally, place to be naked), and fallatio by the young man on the older considered an honor.

Greeks believed semen held man’s wisdom and strength, and the young man would necessarily take this from the older one.

Plato’s works are full of pederastic implications, and principles, and generally, this form of homosexuality was a completely accepted norm.

It was also practiced by rich freed women, with young girls. The favored sexual position was standing rear entry sodomy.

A comparison

We tend to think that today we live in a society where most sexual preferences are accepted and many talk of a breakdown in moral values, but this is not true when compared to the ancient Greeks!

Chances of developing schizophrenia are about 1%. Risks are even higher if someone in the family has or had the disease since the illness tends to run in the family. Studies have shown that risks vary considerably depending on who in the family has it. There is no difference between the risks men or women are facing when dealing with the danger of getting the disease.

Although the big majority of people developing the illness has passed a certain age ( 20 or even older), very rare cases have been seen where children as young as 5 years old have been diagnosed with the disease. Symptoms didn’t usually appear until adulthood but as said earlier they have been present and found in children.

If at any time a person thinks that symptoms similar to those of schizophrenia are appearing in his or her behavior, getting and consulting a doctor would be a very wise and good decision. Detecting the disease very early in its developing is very important, this way the treatment having the biggest chances of having a good result.

Risks in people with the disease that would want to have a family, and of course children, will always be there, but this doesn’t really mean that one shouldn’t try. If the need to do so is really big there are some facts that should be considered. Problems like nursing and providing for the child or children, containing the symptoms and outbreaks of the disease, the children being born with the disease and even the possible help that your partner could give are always there and should be taken in consideration.

It is very important for people with schizophrenia to fell cherished, loved and appreciated as a normal person will be in the day to day life. They are very much normal people, like us, sometimes with very high IQ’s actually, and unless the symptoms show a higher chance of acting up, the person is just as normal in behavior as us. The right and best thing to do as a friend, would be to understand as much as you could possibly do and also try to educate other in order to have a better response and attitude towards people suffering from this terrible illness. Being supportive and understanding the experiences that patient go through means a lot to them.

Although some symptoms may be similar to those of someone who is on drugs, schizophrenia can’t be caused by taking street drugs like cocaine or other hallucinogenic drugs.

A higher risk of developing the disease is in the case of heavy drinkers. People on medication should be particularly careful when mixing them with alcohol. Effects can be very wide and dangerous.

For more resources about schizophrenia or even about symptoms of schizophrenia please follow this link http://www.schizophrenia-info-center.com/

Millions of children and teens are on the Internet everyday. They surf web pages, get their email and chat with their friends. Most parents believe this is harmless, except that our kids are being targeted everyday by predators on the Internet.

Let’s explore some of the characteristics of a child predator. The average child predator is male and over the age of 25. He could be considered “the guy down the street who kept to himself”. The loner type, very few friends and typically not married. A child predator most often has limited social skills, but a propensity to engage in conversation with an adolescent or child. This individual will tend to become shy with adults of his own age. He tends to seek out jobs that allow him to work around children, such as a baseball or basketball coach, Boy Scout leader, janitor or teacher at the school.

Child predators usually see nothing wrong with their behavior. Child predators come from all walks of life, some are rich, some are poor, some are educated and some are not. They usually have a sexually abusive or violent background histories. Child predators will “target” numerous children at one time. Their words are cunning and they take their time to “groom” their victims. “Grooming” is done by showering their victims with gifts, signs of affection and anything else they can, in order to build trust and a relationship with potential victims. Once trust is built, blackmail and guilt are sometimes used to get the child to succumb to their demands.

The Child Internet predator will utilize any or all of these techniques online. They will often times mask their age and state that they are around the same age as your child. They will stalk the Internet sites that most children and teens regularly visit. Hiding behind their computer screen, waiting patiently and then attacking their prey, our children.

How can you tell if your child is at risk? Your child may turn off the computer suddenly when you enter the room. Your child may be receiving gifts from others that you do not know. They may become more secretive about what they are doing online and usually spend more than an hour a day on the Internet. You may see long distance phone numbers that you do not recognize or they may receive phone calls from people that you are not familiar with. These are all signs that your child may be at risk.

As a parent, what can you do? One of the best ways to keep your child safe online is to create open dialogue with your child and to set clear rules regarding computer and Internet usage. You will also need to understand what your child is doing online. Learning more about how your child uses the Internet and whom they talk to in emails and instant message chat rooms can do this. You may also consider utilizing Internet monitoring tools to keep tabs on your child’s activity. One organization that has combined both parental monitoring tools and tools to translate the litany of instant message acronyms is Safe Computer Kids. They have recently launched their website at www.safecomputerkids.com. You can contact them at 866-846-6464 or email them at info@safecomputerkids.com.

As a counselor for more than sixteen years, working with adolescents, adults and families, I have yet to meet a sexual offender who has been completely cured with treatment and have all too often seen the devastating results of their actions.

As Father Time marches on, the question of what to do with the home becomes a greater concern. In some cases, ruminating on the alternatives can dominate one’s thinking. If a person is aware of the various options and chooses a path that makes the most sense, peace of mind can often be the result.

Studies have shown that 90% of married couples and 62% of single persons reach retirement owning their own homes. Coupled with non-monetary considerations of whether to stay or sell, one major objective is how to convert the equity in the home to an income.

In some cases, selling the home is the most attractive option. However, remaining in the home could be simpler and less stressful. Many people are too quick to jump to the “sell” option because they are not aware of all the options that would allow staying in the home and extracting the equity as well.

Weigh each of the following options against selling before throwing in the mental towel and listing the home.

An AARP study done in 2000 showed that more than 90% of seniors wanted to stay in their homes for as long as possible. Almost 82% still wanted to stay even if they needed care.

That is a very loud vote. Therefore, I would recommend looking at long term care insurance that either only provides home care or a more comprehensive plan that includes home care. Many seniors balk at the topic of long term care because they figure they will never go to the “home.” Statistically, 50% of them are right. What many fail to realize is that at some point almost everyone will need some kind of help. Home care benefits may provide the needed assistance while allowing the person to remain in their home.

As seniors age, the upkeep of the home may become overbearing. The lawn still needs cutting, the bushes trimmed and the flower beds kept free of weeds. The inside needs dusting; the carpet needs vacuuming and the windows need washing. Eventually, in many people’s minds, these become reasons to sell.

I would invite you to put a pencil to this. Look at hiring someone to come in and clean. Hire a lawn maintenance company or the teen-ager down the street trying to pay for his car. Having these things taken care of in this manner is a lot less expensive than moving to a retirement home.

If the home is too big, close some rooms off. If it cost too much to heat or cool, seal the vents in un-used rooms.

Sometimes it may make sense (both for the senior and the child) for one of the children to move in and serve as a caretaker, cook, lawn-cutter and/or pool boy/girl.

There are several ways to get the equity out of the home, while continuing to live in the home.

First, the home could be re-financed. Mortgage interest rates today are low. Properly invested, the funds released could cover the new mortgage payments. If not, the difference could be less expensive than rent. Depending on the person’s age, putting a part of the proceeds into an immediate annuity may even cover the mortgage payment and then some.

If the person has a retirement plan that mandates required minimum distributions starting at age 70 1/2, the interest deduction on the new mortgage could be a welcome offset to the RMDs, which must be included in taxable income.

For large estates subject to estate taxes, placing the home in a Qualified Personal Residence Trust (QPRT) can potentially remove the home, and any appreciation from the date of the transfer into the trust, from the taxable estate. Proper trust drafting can also provide for the housing needs of the survivor of a married couple and, ultimately, leave the home to the children.

Selling the home to the children is another option. By structuring the sale and lease back according to the rules, the $250,000 single person or $500,000 married couple capital gains tax exclusion could apply. Here, again, the parents would continue to live in the home and pay rent to the children. This removes the home from the taxable estate as well.

A gift-leaseback is an alternative. The value of the home will use up part (or all) of the lifetime unified credit. Consult a tax attorney if the value of the home is large and this option is one of the ones on the table.

If the homeowner(s) are age 62 or older, a reverse mortgage may be a viable option. The National Council on Aging calculates there are 13.2 million seniors who could qualify for a reverse mortgage of $20,000 or more. The average would be $72,000.

Reverse mortgages can reduce or eliminate the children’s inheritance. Today, there are Federal Rules for reverse mortgages and about 90% are federally insured. Fees can be high and will differ among lenders. Shop around.

Prior to making the decision to stay in the home or sell, each of these options should be part of the discussion among the senior, their children and financial advisors.

Prologue

The day of December, 23rd didn’t promise anything unusual. Although, stop, there was one unusual thing and it began from the list of people who wanted to visit Chernobyl Zone – only ONE man! Well, liability was to be done. Other way people would not believe you anymore.

So, morning, December, 23rd, 7.00 AM - Kiev railway station – South Terminal. The program of the Zone’s visiting is signed; we take the passenger and go.

§ In this place we will look aside and remember the day two weeks ago. Project pripyat.com lives by its everyday life… December, 8th – rumors about the collapse of sarcophagus. There is panic in net, public excitement in forum, visitor’s inquiries on one topic:

§ Chernobyl wall, collapsed the wall of sarcophagus, the wall of Chernobyl sarcophagus collapsed, radiation level in Kiev, news Chernobyl, Chernobyl catastrophe, Chernobyl sarcophagus, sarcophagus, ChNPP, photo Chernobyl, Chernobyl today, Chernobyl December, News from Chernobyl…

*

Editorial staff connects with ChNPP direction. They answer – “No collapses – everything is ok”. Excitement and panic don’t go away. Site editors go to check radiation in 2 Kiev’s districts: Darnitskiy and Kharkovskiy – photos of 2 radiometers’ data slightly calm down the public…But part of the audience is watchful anyway – “rumors do not appear themselves…something had to be”. The time of trip to Zone is almost near – 23 of December.

*

The project - Address book of the Excluded Zone. During two months Anna Gorelisheva – programmer from St. Petersburg constrainedly works (for free!) for one of main ideas of the project – address (phone) book of People from Pripyat (liquidators, people who work in the Zone). Interactive book is ready for 90%, remained only to put into it the base of buildings of Pripyat. But there is not enough information about it. We need to make a trip to Pripyat to put addresses to the map. The maps with routes are already prepared in Moscow (Nehaev.S.). It is left to go by these routes.

On the way we decided to dedicate our trip to 2 main targets:

1. To stop the rumors about collapsing of the sarcophagus’ wall – to make a photo of it and make measures of radiometer near it (150meters).

2. To prepare information about address book – to put all buildings on the map.

We had no problem with the first task, but the second one could be more difficult. We went early; all organizational problems were almost solved. There would be enough time. If we would know about “unforeseeable consequences” that would prevent us to fulfill the second part of our task.

Check-point Dityatki is left behind; in Chernobyl in “Chernobylinterinform” agency we are waited not earlier than 11 AM. And we are here at .30 AM!…Small briefing…

Let’s go…

Chernobyl-2

Hmm…maybe we can go to Chernobyl -2?…Why not, let’s go…

Turn left. Narrow woodland road, made of concrete plates. Road to”special object”…We ride 3 km like in a train. Tm-tm…Tm-tm… Joints of plates give theirs waves to the car.

Sleepy guard in sport trousers:”What organization are you from? Now I will call my boss”…”Steel garden” – so was called this building at one western site. Sergey Chernov, our attendant, tells us about the “birth” of this idea – to make this building energy source. “Scientists investigated that medium air speed here is 14m/sec, while it is necessary 12meters minimum, so conditions let to make this object in electro station.

- So, what is going on there?-we ask.

- - No money, the most widespread saying in Ukraine in all spheres of life.

- I am sorry, guys, but I can’t let you in. You need special pass from direction. This tells us the guard of secret object in the past. We go further.

Address book of the Excluded

Zone

Check-point “Pripyat”. We leave the car near the town entrance – where guards can keep an eye on it. We divide and agree to meet near CP “Energetic” and go according our routes.

2 micro district, left side of the Lenin street…1…kindergarten…Lesya Ukrainka street…Work is not boring – I was not here 20 years! My “partner” Sergey doesn’t work as attendant for 7 years, but also has never been here.

- I was in Pripyat before accident in 1986, he tells – we came here in student’s team. We liked the town and I decided to move here after graduating. But – catastrophe.

- What did you like best of all? – I ask

- Children and flowers – he answers sparingly. A lot of children and flowers.

- Do you remember this shop?

- This one? No, I don’t remember…But remember that here was a lot of food. And in general I like this city more than Kiev. And now every time when I come here, I come almost every day, I feel sad.

- And I don’t feel sad. I like the silence of this place and its special aura. Here I feel myself calm and cosy. Here I relax.

***

- First – first, I am second, the voice of editor from portative radio station.

- I hear you, Alexander.

- We are finishing 1 micro district, will wait for you in the center, near Culture House.

- Ok, we will be there in 30 minutes, finishing Kurchatova Street.

Awful Sounds of Pripyat

Attendant was behind about 100 meters. A house without a tablet, we have to go inside – maybe the number of house is in the residents’ list or at post cards which could be found on the floor. I don’t have big desire to come in alone. Still have a lot of impressions from September’s trip. Awful, but anyway I go. The door wasn’t open for several years…Nothing special – same half-opened doors, paper and other small things on the floor. But there are strange subdued sounds from cellar. I can’t compare it with something…and animal fear comes closer…to my back, near neck (familiar feeling: city hospital – second and third floor…as one of the visitors told “Feeling that you are in somebody’s unseen sights”). Sounds do not stop, they seem to be closer and closer. The fear grows and legs don’t want to go further. Sharp turn, some quick steps or even jumps and I am at the street already, where is same friendly winter sun. Somewhere in the distance could be heard Sergey’s steps.Yee…What’s the nonsense there, in cellar?…Who or what could make such sounds?

Interesting that when our groups meet, Sasha firs begins to talk about awful sounds in Pripyat. I nodd…hmm…yes…If former residents say such nonsense…Maybe because of hard work, and psychics is not good already. Only that who visited houses and cellars of Pripyat alone can judge. But I don’t think that there are lots of people like that.

Marodeurs

The work in two micro districts are finished. Light breakfast.

- You know, it is not enjoyable to go in groups, let’s join together?- I offer.

- Sure. We have a lot of time. Let’s do it together.

- Ok, and then let’s start with 3 micro district (road cross of Kurchatova and L.Ukrainka Street). You take this group of nine-storey buildings. I take that – buildings opposite to electro shop of “Complex”.

- Hm…Again I am alone. Sergey is left to guar a car. Let it be so, I know that planca and iov (nicknames of Sasha and Oleg in forum) are somewhere near. Inner yards of 3 micro district are gloomier. This is so because of that there are no 5-storey buildings, only 9- and 16-storeyed.

Combined in 3 or 4 houses nine-storied buildings – no tablets. I come to the yard with intention to clear up the number of building, even if I have to go through all the flats from first to ninth floor…meanwhile Sasha and Oleg are coming.

We pip in the lift room of one of the living buildings. Warehouse of gas-masks, filters for them and other accessories. Above there is new, packed nickel-plated tablets with names of streets and numbers of buildings. Above – festive transparency for parades and demonstrations…Gas-masks, evidently, were not used like all other stuff.

- This is Housing Service, - shouts Oleg when coming into first apartment.

Now it is understandable why here are so many gas-masks. Unintentionally my thoughts come back to that date – 27 of April 1986 – evacuation of the town…

Further investigation of buildings goes on with bad mood spoiled by marauders activity in this place.

Three more nine-storied buildings near 4th school, and after we come back by car to L.Ukrainka Street and move to 5th micro district.

- Wow… Savings bank

Reading forms, books and cards we plunge into “saving atmosphere” of past years. “You can save money in savings bank” – poster of Savings Bank on the wall. “Yes, it was possible, probably…” And after it was also probably to lose it all – in one day…

Events more than twenty years ago still agitate but only to satisfy curiosity. How was it?

We go outside – sunny day in Pripyat…

- Here is pink square on the map; do you know what is it? – I ask Sasha.

- Kindergarten, - jauntily tells Planca.

- Noo…Kindergarten is near…And here, I don’t know what it is. Well, we have to look and mark on the map, let’s go…

50 meters before the pink square I see one-storey building with painting – “sickle and hammer” at one of the window glass. How could I forget! This is new shop! I saw it only once or twice.

- And I almost didn’t visit this district. I had nothing to do here, - grandly says Planca.

- Aha, that time your legs were too small to come here.

- And it seems it was at the end of the world, - also jokes Sasha.

Inside everything is left as it was. Looking at soviet cash registers and old milk bottles with wide neck unwillingly begin to remember that time.

- Guys, do you know that there are radiators in that yard prepared to move out, - says Oleg.

- Where?

- There, he shows the way to barns.

While we go to inner yard through the shop, and there we stop near “the monuments” of past years: tablet “ChNPP working supply department”; milk bottles, bath for ferment and storage of cucumbers, cabbage and potatoes… (Oh…How tasty were these tomatoes in childhood!). We make photos and go on.

Dark corridor, the inner yard of the shop is already seen through the door and suddenly…I hear people’s voices and the roar of the engine.

Aha…Here are marauders…

- Silence! ( I wave to planca and iov) Thieves are going…

I switch my Sony to video…Let’s go…I make one-minute clip about 5 people who entruck the radiators…

How can it be! They act without fear, like at home!

Further events occur as quickly as the old animation film. We divide. I go to bring official representative of the agency and car, Sasha and Oleg – look for the thieves.

Meanwhile marauders go to the neighboring building where already packed and prepared radiators is, and entruck the KAMAZ again. We have already enough video and it is time to know who are they and who let them pillage the town.

(to look video)

wmv, 29,2

mb

- Who let you?

- It is personal permission..

- Whose?

- One high-ranking official

…We come to truck which is half full of radiators…” Loaders” ran inside the house, left one man to answer all our questions and hide behind board box the governmental number of an auto near the truck.

- And where will you move it?

- To processing point…

It is time to call the police.

(In connection with the investigation, part of materials of this report is unavailable till the end of the case.

Everyone approaches homeschooling with a different perspective. Some approach it with fear and trepidation; others with excitement and enthusiasm; others feel backed into a corner with no other options; and still others look forward to homeschooling as a way to invest more into their children.

Examine each point carefully and look honestly at yourself and your teaching style. Not every mistake will apply to you—that will depend on your personality and approach—but all can easily occur without warning!

1.Over Scheduling

I will never forget my first year of homeschooling. My children were involved in art classes, gymnastics, classes at the zoo, science center classes, chorus, piano lessons, physical education classes, and community sports. On the one day per week that we did not have scheduled events, we would get together with fellow homeschooling families for field trips, writing classes (which I taught), and/or just for a fun time.

I have never been so frazzled in my life! We would cram in our studies in the morning, then load up the car to head out to our daily routine.

I can’t remember who burned out first—the kids or me, but I do know we burned out. Soon those creative moments of science experiments, creative writing fun, and history projects were a thing of the past and we became a slave to our activities schedule.

The key: limit yourself to one or two activities at a time and make schooling a priority. When you have more time to commit at home, schooling can become much more enjoyable!

2.Under Scheduling

Over scheduling can be a nightmare, but under-scheduling can also have its detriments. Kids need variety and opportunities to be with others their own age. There are so many learning opportunities out there!

Find what activities work for your family and take advantage of them. There are many opportunities out there through local museums, art schools, YMCAs, support groups, colleges, churches, and historical sites.

A great idea that worked for us was to get together with several other homeschooling families and plan out a year’s worth of field trips—one per month. We then assigned one to each parent to organize, picked the dates (which we all reserved), and looked forward to our once a month outing. On occasion, we would also get together at a local playground or state park for another day of fun or learning.

This smaller network allowed us to support each other on a more personal basis and to feel free to call on another when we needed encouragement or ideas.

3.Unrealistic Expectations

It is so easy to fall into the trap of unrealistic expectations. I have met many a homeschool Mom who was upset because her three-year old was not reading yet or because her sixth grade son was not succeeding in Algebra I. I have watched as families tackle huge projects trying to cram a whole year of World History into one quarter and plan a World History Fair to culminate the experience. These are the same parents and kids who are burned out by Christmas and struggling to make it through each day!

One the other hand, I have also seen families who decide to home school with no direction, no formal home school curriculum, and no real goals in mind.

Students will live up to your expectations and if none exist, they will quickly adapt and really enjoy themselves for a time. However, by Halloween, kids long for the structure of school and parents are thinking that the ghosts and ghouls knocking on their door look much more appealing than their bored and antsy children.

The individualized instruction that homeschooling provides opens up the door for students to master concepts much quicker than in a classroom full of distractions. However, it also makes it very easy to coast through the year without really accomplishing anything.

The answer to this struggle is planning.

4.A Disorganized School Room

There is nothing more frustrating than the inability to put your fingers on what you need when you need it. This is especially true when you are trying to keep your children current with their schoolwork.

The inability to find a pencil, a working eraser, a textbook or workbook, dictionary, calculator . . . . you get the picture. These are all extremely frustrating and when piled up can make for a very difficult start to a day.

I recommend you commit an entire day at the beginning of the school year to organizing your home school room. Engage your children in the task—let them decide how to organize their supplies.

Store away your teacher’s guides and answer keys—preferably in a file drawer so they are always at your fingertips and organize the curriculum in a sequence that makes sense.

The more time you devote ahead of time to organizing, the less wasted time throughout the school year searching for items you know “are around here somewhere!”

5.Avoiding Breaks to Allow for a Shorter Day

This is a biggie! We all do it—it seems like such a wonderful thing to tell our kids. “Hey, if you can just get this all done this morning, we will have all afternoon with no school!” Guess what? Across the board, homeschooling kids are saying, “We’d rather have a break!”

Let me share some personal experiences. I am ashamed to say, I fell into this one very badly my first year of homeschooling. At the beginning of the school year, I was really good about taking breaks—even heading outside with my children to play baseball, catch, soccer, volleyball, tag . . . you name it. My favorite time for one of these breaks was when one of the kids was struggling, grumpy or looking tired, or when I found myself overwhelmed with the mess around me.

I would announce, “RECESS TIME!” and we would head outside for a good 20 minutes of fun. It never ceased to amaze me how easy it was to get back to a difficult task after a quick breather.

Suddenly, it was essential for my kids to finish up their work in the morning so we could have the afternoon free and breaks became a thing of the past.

I never realized just how frustrating this must have been for my kids until a recent homeschool graduate put it on her top ten list. Sure enough, my kids hated it! To them the tradeoff was not worth it. A “free” afternoon after a grueling morning was not of value to them.

To avoid this one: schedule regular breaks and take them whether you think you need them or not and be sure to spend at least one break enjoying your kids!

In the end a more relaxed longer day is better than a crammed short day any day!

6.Becoming a Slave to Your Home School Curriculum

Another big mistake I made my first year of homeschooling was to allow my curriculum to drive me. Even on days when it was obvious that my kids just weren’t getting it, I would push them to complete the assignments we had determined were appropriate for that day.

When I finally learned to back off, our homeschooling became much more effective. On days when my fifth grader just could not quite figure out how to reduce fractions to the lowest common denominator, we would take a break and move on to something else. Although in some cases, we did not even return to math that day, more often than not, we found that waiting until the evening when the hustle and bustle of the day was over worked much better! At that time, she could sit down and breeze through the math concepts that were impossible just a few hours earlier.

In some cases, you may need to abandon an entire course and try a different approach. Now, don’t be too quick to make this decision—too many of these decisions can be costly. Take the time to really evaluate whether it is the homeschool curriculum or your misuse of it that is causing the struggle.

Sometimes it just takes a fresh look or slowing down a little to make a course work better for you. But if you find that something just does not work, don’t be afraid to set it aside or pass it on to someone else.

On the other hand, don’t make the mistake of rushing your children through a study that they are passionate about! Take the time to allow them to pursue it further.

Bottom line: watch and learn from your kids and adapt as necessary. Don’t become a slave to your home school curriculum.

7.Doing it Alone

So many homeschooling Moms try to do it alone. Once the curriculum decisions have been made and the curriculum is in their hands, they begin the process of schooling . . . on their own.

Sometimes pride keeps them from asking for advice when things get tough; sometimes just the overwhelming task of schooling the children makes it difficult to seek out socialization opportunities; sometimes, it is the misperception that “That is the way it is for homeschoolers.”

This is a huge danger! Irrevocably, Moms who try to do it alone become frustrated and very lonely. Do you find yourself keeping the telemarketer on the phone as long as you possibly can? Does your UPS man find it difficult to escape from your front door after delivering a package? YOU NEED SOCIALIZATION!

IT is just as important for you as it is for your kids.

Socialization for a homeschooling Mom means a sounding board for ideas, advice from those who have been through it before, friendships that allow us to be ourselves, an easy way to share or access information and ideas, a terrific venue to pass on newly discovered educational events or opportunities . . . all absolutely necessary for Moms who are investing so much into their children.

Support groups, homeschool publications, seminars, homeschool conferences, memberships, classes . . . all of these are terrific ways for homeschooling families to socialize with other children and adults.

Don’t ignore this! This will make or break your homeschooling endeavors.

8.Super Mom Syndrome

This was probably the most difficult part of homeschooling for me. Days when my friends would say, “Walking into your home is like walking into an Ethan Allen Showroom” were long gone.

Trying to keep those same standards is like trying to rake leaves into a pile in the middle of a tornado.

Face it: your home will never be the same. Your meals will not always be healthy, your errands will not always be run, your bills may be late, and your bathrooms may not always sparkle.

But take a deep breath and remember:

1. You live in your house all day

2. Your kids are in your house all day

3. You school in your house

4. You use your walls as a display for charts, projects, lessons, maps, time lines, motivations, and more.

5. You do not have a large classroom to keep all of your studies in—books and educational materials will naturally take over your home.

6. You use your desk for more than paying bills, checking e-mail, and surfing the net.

If you are going to survive this homeschooling experience, you must learn to lower your standards!

9.Ignoring the Input of your Children

It is so easy to get so wrapped up in your plans and ideas that you forget to check with your children. This can be especially challenging for Moms who were teachers or who served in a managerial role. Part of the beauty of homeschooling is that it can be a two way street.

You set up the boundaries, then, allow your kids some freedom within those boundaries.

Your willingness to bounce ideas off of your kids and to really consider their input will mean so much to them . . . and you might be surprised at what they come up with!

10.Fear of the Internet

Let’s face it—the Internet can be dangerous! There is so much out there that we do not want our children to see and so many people out there we do not want them to meet!

However, there is also a wealth of information out there that is absolutely invaluable to any homeschooling program. From educational and interactive games, to live cam pictures of our solar system, the possibilities are endless.

And if you know where to go, you can tap into homeschool resources and instruction that will never run dry!

If you believe that adults can suffer from identity theft or be mislead by online criminals, imagine what children can experience in case their online surfing time is not properly guided. In fact, parents should know that when children are online, it is just like they are out in public. Thus, educating kids and monitoring their online surfing time can save parents from the anguish of having to deal with an uncomfortable situation later.

Exposed to a variety of stimuli, children today are able to surf and visit websites, portals, enter chat rooms or participate in online games. Since technology has brought a tremendous shift in children’s recreational time, kids should be taught that when they are talking with someone in a chat room or an instant message session, they are actually interacting with strangers unless they know in person the other party from the “real” world, like their school class or sports team.

A number of social studies reveal a shocking number. One in 4 children between the ages of 10 and 17 are exposed to sexually explicit imagery and nearly 20 percent has received an unwanted sexual solicitation during the past year. Although “kids are tough” and are not deeply hurt by these experiences as they consider them as a forbidden “fun” game between peers, a number of parents have reported that their children have been clearly disturbed by these type of online exposures. Surely, apart from the kids, parents are also extremely annoyed by the fact that unwanted exposures to porn and suitors have entered their kids’ lives through the virtual reality of a computer screen. But the fact remains that even when children are not looking for these kind of information online, they can readily find such material accidentally and then not to know how are they supposed to react.

The situation for parents seems very difficult and organizations, or administrative units like the Commission on Online Child Protection, have been examining the subject of online children protections in great extend. The problem is that safety issues and moral issues tend to overlap and while parents agree that their children online safety is among the top priorities on their list, they have not yet reached a stage of mutual agreement of their concerns or a reasonable and effective strategy to limit the chances of their kids being exposed to such kind of unwanted imagery or solicitations.

As no single solution currently exists, it is imperative for parents to educate their kids and explain that the internet is just like a city street with interesting parks and happy people but also full of dangerous characters and speedy drivers. Since identity can be hidden or even altered while one is online it is crucial to make sure your children understand not to reveal any information about their identity or whereabouts that would allow someone to track them down. Of course that means that no names, addresses, phone numbers, school or parents’ work locations and e-mail addresses. Finally, it is important for kids never to get together alone with someone they meet online. If for whatever reason, your child feels that it is absolutely imperative to get together with someone that they have “met” online, make sure it’s in a public place, like a restaurant, at a reasonable hour and that a parent is present. Although this does not give you much assurance that everything will go well, you will at least be able to check the person’s age, gender and demeanor.